drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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