Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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