I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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