WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
