i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
