Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
