and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I had to cum in my sink.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
