its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
