Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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