Can i not drive my cunt home
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
