I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
