when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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