I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
