kristin has been a bad kristin
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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