I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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