It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
