We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
