I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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