i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
