Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
