That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
