Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
