Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
