Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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