So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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