Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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