I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
