Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
