I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
