So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Blood and glitter go together right?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
