I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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