so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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