i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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