p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
