Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
