she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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