I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
