i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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