eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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