I love black thongs
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm like, not good at living.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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