Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
