You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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