So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
