so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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