I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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