So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
