I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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