Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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