found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
