Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
